


Last Week's Alcohol

by Hapkido9061



Category: EXO (Band)
Genre: Angst, BaekYeol - Freeform, ChanBaek - Freeform, Chanyeol's an ass, Drinking, Drunk Chanyeol, M/M, Oneshot, and oblivious
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-09-24
Updated: 2018-09-24
Packaged: 2019-07-16 07:37:55
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,423
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16081505
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Hapkido9061/pseuds/Hapkido9061
Summary: BaekHyun's trying to hold onto his and Chanyeol's relationship, it used to be so grand. But then Chanyeol found drinking as his favorite hobby. Life isn't fair in that way, but Chanyeol doesn't even notice. And now he's drunk. Again.





	Last Week's Alcohol

**Author's Note:**

> I'm cross posting and editing stuff from my AFF account which I rarely use anymore to here, hope you like it :)

Happy drunk and grinding to a German techno beat blasting on the stereo. Chanyeol wasn’t even sure if the person next to him was a guy or girl or in between. They could’ve been nineteen; they could’ve been twenty-nine.

The lights of the club flashed from blue to red to complete darkness- it changed every second with the rhythm of the bass. All the songs seemed to be the same ones on repeat over and over. As he wound his way through the sweaty mass of twisting and touching bodies, Chanyeol ended up by the bar.

Again.

Shots all around. Some tipsy dude with a silver earring passed them out. He looked familiar, like the guy who ran the bar on Thursdays. Chanyeol had a fleeting thought that his earring looked like the one pierced through his own lobe at this moment.

BaekHyun had a matching one, too.

Chanyeol downed the shot of burning alcohol in one go, his eyes clenching shut at the sensation. His phone remained a lead weight in the front pocket of his jeans. With only slight struggle, Chanyeol pulled it out and squinted at the lit screen.

Quickly drafting a text for his little boyfriend, Chanyeol shoved it back in place against his hip. The text to BaekHyun was all Chanyeol could deal with right now. Just looking at his damn phone was painful.

Out of sight, out of mind.

To: Baek

im sorry im sleepy another night

 

From: Baek

:/ OX

Vodka flows into any mixer Chanyeol can find. The first was a berry flavor, the next definitely lime. Now on the fifth, Chanyeol didn’t even notice they had a taste. He had to somehow get the cute mistake of hugs before kisses BaekHyun put in his text out of his thoughts.

Miniskirts shift on the girls grinding with Chanyeol. Anymore, the gender of the people he’d hooked up with didn’t matter. They all gave him the same feeling inside. Empty. Maybe if he got with another person then the emptiness would finally go away. That's how it worked, right? One of the girls lifts her face towards Chanyeol’s. He caught sight of the think eyeliner around her eyes like a panda’s mask. Her lips looked matte with expensive lipstick and glitter.

Didn’t BaekHyun used to wear a lot of eyeliner when they first met?

Chanyeol’s pocket vibrates.

He won’t look; it’s BaekHyun again. No one else wants to take the time to text him. The girl gets a rush of courage and sidles up to Chanyeol, literally dancing on him. The curves of her body press into Chanyeol’s hands as he joins in with her erotic movements.

BaekHyun’s not here.

The girl, with her eyeliner and sticky lip gloss, makes a pass. No hesitation came from Chanyeol as his drunk thoughts didn’t rationalize the situation. Nothing existed but the body beneath his hands and an incessant buzzing in his pocket.

Screw the phone.

Screw BaekHyun and all his stupid rules.

To: Chan <3

Are you alone?

Chanyeol notices the girl’s friends that had been dancing close by have long left. The two were still dancing in the middle to a heavy beat while surrounded by other flailing bodies on every side.

“Are you dancing out here by yourself?”

The giant responds to her question in an instant. “Yeah, but I’d rather not be.” His words slurred and they confirmed how far gone into the alcohol he was. A smirk rises to his lips.

To: Chan <3

I’m out here

“-alive here!”

“What?” Chanyeol couldn’t hear what the girl said over the deafening insanity of the club.

“I said it’s too alive here. Let’s get a room. In the back, this way.”

“But the fun’s in here! All the drinking, and dancing, and, and…” Chanyeol trailed off as the girl rolled her eyes. He was being dragged back to one of the back rooms as he lost himself in thought again. At least three people bumped into Chanyeol's tall frame, but he took no notice.

The room she led them to wasn’t anything extravagant- a bed, a nightstand, dimmed lights. In one corner was a shelf stocked with various types of booze. This new room with no one else present but them sobered Chanyeol up; the madness calming his racing mind ever so slightly.

He would need more alcohol in his system to go through with this girl.

Chugging from the bottom shelf for the next moment felt like the greatest idea Chanyeol’s ever had. The girl eventually joined in, pulling down some fruity cocktail mix. Here he was, getting drunk with some nameless girl instead of being at home with his boyfriend of... how long?

Chanyeol kept drinking.

 

“Channie! Hurry your butt up and get in here!” BaekHyun called from their bedroom. Chanyeol stumbled his way in after tripping over a chair, not wanting to keep him waiting more than a few seconds. He just reached the room before BaekHyun could holler a second time.

There stood BaekHyun adorned in tight black pants that actuated every curve of his delicate body. Rips travelled up the thighs all the way down to his ankles. The shirt hanging on his shoulders dipped down low enough that Chanyeol was graced with a teasing view of the other’s collarbone.

“I don’t know about this one… Lu just said ‘sexy’. “

Oh, right.

BaekHyun wasn’t his for the night; he was actually going over to LuHan’s house for a ‘bachelorette’ party for his and SeHun’s wedding. Chanyeol should be one his way to Jongin’s house for SeHun’s any minute now as well.

“It’s stunning,” the taller man breathed out. Referring to the clothes and outfit or BaekHyun, he didn’t know. His mind contained too many dirty thoughts to think straight.

There was one thing Chanyeol could process.

This is how it feels to fall in love.

 

This is how it feels to fall.

Chanyeol felt something stir in his stomach at the sight of the nameless girl reaching to unbutton his shirt. Weakness flooded his entire body as she ran a manicured hand dangerously close to the waistband of his pants. The booming bass could still be felt vibrating through the floor boards. The muted sound reflected his muted thoughts.

In his drunken haze, Chanyeol staggered back onto the bed as the kisses started. An image of BaekHyun sitting alone waiting for his text back came rushing to him. A sense of sadness came with it.

What were those thoughts doing in his mind?

“You’re so hot… how did I end up so lucky?” the girl purred into his ear. Chanyeol’s leaned back as she palmed him through his tightening pants. Her lips made contact once again with his own. He didn't even try to shove her away.

Sirens sounded through the room; blue and red lights flashed by in a second. Chanyeol’s madness seemed to go with them. Harder and harder his heart pounded, hammering out a drunken beat. It felt like he just raced down the street in that ambulance. That could've been BaekHyun in the back, strapped to a stretcher. But he wouldn't know if he kept sitting here getting laid with strangers.

“I-I need something,” Chanyeol managed to stutter out. This was obviously not the first time she’s been with a guy- her hands much too skilled to be innocent.

Giving a shove, Chanyeol pushed her off and ignored the incessant aching in his pants. Which were now fully unzipped and falling down. He grabbed a shirt, hoping it was the right one, before running down the hallway.

“Where are you going?”

“Away.”

“Please stay, hon,” she begged with seductive puppy dog eyes. They looked like Baek’s.

“No.”

Chanyeol made his way down back into the neon lit club. His eyes instinctively watched the crowd for BaekHyun’s short figure. And then Chanyeol stopped to look at himself.

Why the hell would BaekHyun be here of all places?

BaekHyun hated to drink, hated parties and clubs, hated fake people pretending to love with fake feelings. The only reason he ever came into one of these places was to drag a blacked-out Chanyeol home. That happened more often than not.

Chanyeol felt his heart clench.

A glimpse of dark eyeliner expertly applied and white shirt stopped Chanyeol dead in his tracks. Did he just see BaekHyun?

Maybe it was like a cheesy movie montage that Chanyeol secretly loved. The main character would be depressed but then his love interest would show without any fear for the situation and everything would end up happy and everything’s perfect. They'll even get married in the end. BaekHyun’s here to rescue a drunk Chanyeol from himself and show him the way home.

Or maybe it was just a damned dream.

“Hey cutie, feeling me up already?” the woman Chanyeol had unintentionally followed slithered up to his side after he bumped her back. She must’ve taken it as an invitation to start flirting.

Pretty, yes. But Chanyeol could only see how messy the corner of her left eye was or the little smudge of concealer near her ear not blended in.

“Not tonight.”

BaekHyun never would’ve made such an elementary mistake when it came to makeup.

Chanyeol shook off her wandering hands in mild revolt. His eyes widened in sadden shock as they scanned the crowd. Every single face he saw as he looked was BaekHyun’s. The color of that man’s eyes was close to Baek’s, the color of that girl’s hair.

In every single face was BaekHyun’s staring back.

“That must’ve ben his scheme,” Chanyeol muttered under his breath. His angry drunk stage was next. To Chanyeol, it had always been BaekHyun’s plan to keep him tied down like a dog to one person. And seeing how Chanyeol was reacting right now, it worked.

The tall man watched the people as though they were the short puppy dog eyed man. A mood shift on less than two seconds, not surprising. He watched as he stumbled after a few, only to stop halfway through. To hell with BaekHyun, he just needed someone to play with tonight.

Chanyeol was watching himself fall.

. . .

Chanyeol was sick of parties. He was sick of getting drunk, and drinking alcohol, blacking out every time, and just being drunk. All because he couldn’t face reality or BaekHyun.

And yet, he still drank until he couldn't stand at this party that was no different from the rest.

In one huge wave, Chanyeol’s senses were overwhelmed. He held his breath against the acrid scent of sweat and musky perfumes. Another person, Chanyeol saw them lean in close, brushed their lips against his ear. But the tall man didn’t feel them, or know them.

Chanyeol just knows BaekHyun. And the fact that he’s not here.

“Kid,” the bartender spoke to gain his attention, “you all right? You seem to be needin’ somethin’.”

“I don’t know,” Chanyeol let out after a pause. He really didn’t know what was happening anymore.

“On the house,” the bartender told him as he pushed a glass filled to the brim towards Chanyeol. Down in one gulp with a taste of beer.

It might be the Smirnoff or all the Natty Light courtesy of the bartender. But whatever it was, it got Chanyeol drunker. That’s what he wanted.

Sure that might be a weak move, but there wasn’t anything left to lose.

If BaekHyun called Chanyeol right now, sitting more than half passed out at a bar with people around, he would cave. Forget the flashing and tight revealing clothes on every person, he would answer that damn phone.

But Chanyeol knew, he knew, that would never happen. If by some miracle it did, then something stupid would be sure to spill out of his mouth. Chanyeol would just blame it on the booze and BaekHyun would go along with wet eyes.

Nothing new there.

. . .

Time was passing by but he’s still drinking. Life is passing by and Chanyeol’s drinking last week’s alcohol. BaekHyun always was good at forgiving and forgetting unlike him. He always did keep problems harbored for a while; grudges were even worse.

Like the one time, BaekHyun and him fought over Chanyeol going to his job with some girl. BaekHyun let it go right away and made up, but it wasn’t until at least a week later of drinking that Chanyeol did. Chanyeol always coped with his problems by drinking.

He wondered when that started.

. . .

Parties and clubs are proof the natural world runs to chaos when given the chance. Some fight had broken out in the dancing crowd and was already resolved. Chanyeol wasn’t alarmed by it in the least.

Going outside to the curb for a bit of quiet, Chanyeol sits in the yard. The house party tonight was intense- plenty of good liquor and people hotter than him. Chanyeol had drank too many of those whiskey shots to count. Or care. It got him drunk enough to not tell the difference between the cold grass and asphalt of the sidewalk.

But that still wasn’t drunk enough.

“Cold, cold, cold,” Chanyeol whined drunkenly as he runs his hands through the green grass. Being drunk made him happy, sometimes.

And that’s when Chanyeol sees him.

Instantly Chanyeol sobered up; the cold wind blowing helped. As BaekHyun hauled Chanyeol up by the arms, the taller man opened his mouth. Most likely for some excuse why he’s drunk again, what the bruises on his neck are, why he smells like perfume and cologne that weren't his own. The car was still running as BaekHyun helped the taller stumble into the passenger’s seat.

Chanyeol didn’t remember calling BaekHyun to pick him up. Not this time.

“I’m sorry.” BaekHyun breaks the silence of the car. They haven’t even left the parking spot yet. “I’m scared of this.” Neither makes eye contact.

“Well, I’m scared too,” Chanyeol mumbled, looking down at his calloused hands. It was true.

“I don’t think I can do this anymore,” BaekHyun’s voice was hardly more than a whisper. “Blackout drunk every night?” A pause. “I’ll drop you off at your home. I’m leaving.”

Chanyeol sat in total shock at the smaller’s words the whole drive back. Would BaekHyun really leave him? After all they’ve been through? BaekHyun loved him too much for that.

Didn't he?

Maybe that was the problem. He did say ‘your home’, not ours. When was the last time that Chanyeol actually spent time at home sober or not hungover? Racking his brain, Chanyeol came up short with the last time he said ‘I love you’.

They reached the front door much too soon. No more home cooked meals to come to, even if they were eaten in silence or warmed up from where they had been put away in the fridge nowadays. No more flowers being bought, no more clean clothes with sweet notes hidden in the collar, no more anything.

At that moment, Chanyeol felt his heart grow three sizes as he realized how much he cared for BaekHyun. Only at the moment when he was leaving did he come to terms with his feelings.

But this isn’t how it’s supposed to feel to fall in love (again).

This is how it feels to fall.

. . .

With careful movement, BaekHyun laid Chanyeol down on the bed and pulled the covers over his feverish-drunk body. He left the room for a second; Chanyeol could hear the sound of the running water and rummaging through the medicine cabinet. A moment later, BaekHyun came back in and set two pain relievers and a glass of water on the nightstand.

Chanyeol didn’t want to sleep, not when a chance existed that BaekHyun would be gone in the morning. But his weakness to sleep and tired mind gave in to the black abyss.

BaekHyun placed one final kiss on Chanyeol’s forehead.

"I love you."

. . .

Sadness.

That’s what it’s called.

Not despair- that’s too close to the feeling when somebody's dead. Not remorse, because Chanyeol didn’t regret a single moment with BaekHyun. He was just… sad.

Chanyeol awoke to a silent home and the items still on the nightstand. There weren’t any sounds coming from the kitchen. BaekHyun used to putter around making breakfast in the mornings; once upon a time, he sang while cooking, too. But that stopped about the time Chanyeol discovered his new friends Jack Daniels and Jim Beam.

Sirens flew by the window, engraving themselves in Chanyeol’s head as well. When had so many ambulances been needed before he started drinking? Or was that yet another thing he never took notice to before?

The closet door was cracked open and that alone was a red flag. BaekHyun always kept the doors he wasn't currently using closed. It was a cue quirk of his. Ignoring the aching of every muscle in his body, Chanyeol made his way over. Only half of the closet was filled with semi-rumpled clothes. The other half was empty without so much as a hanger.

“No. This can’t- no,” Chanyeol whispered to himself.

Nor believing anything, Chanyeol stumbled out into the living room. All the little trinkets BaekHyun had collected over the years were gone. All the books except for an odd one here and there had disappeared. All the shelves were arranged so it was hard to tell, but Chanyeol knew instantly it was wrong.

The picture frames on the mantle were empty.

It was pure madness- the way BaekHyun just up and left. The pounding echoing in Chanyeol’s chest battered a furious rage. That rage bubbled up to the surface and Chanyeol felt anger overtake his mind. But it wasn’t because of BaekHyun.

He had let it get that bad, he had done this to himself. Chanyeol still had the audacity to feel remorse about it.

A second ambulance passed with sirens blaring, reminding Chanyeol of the night with the girl at the club. BeakHyun’s OX. If only he were in the back of that ambulance, then maybe BaekHyun would come back to make sure he was okay. Maybe BaekHyun would stay.

. . .                                                  

“You sure he’s all right?” Chanyeol asked for the umpteenth time. Kyungsoo sighed over the phone, exhaustion and annoyance evident.

“Yes.”

“And he’s eating?”

“Yes.”

“Where is he?”

“Somewhere,” Kyungsoo’s terse answer came immediately. Chanyeol hadn’t actually expected Kyungsoo to answer the phone as he and Baek were best friends. But Chanyeol’s (ex)boyfriend status never mattered to Kyungsoo. If BaekHyun wanted something or thought differently than Chanyeol, the shorter man would always take BaekHyun’s side.

“Listen, Chanyeol. This is your fault. I’m not even going to try to sugarcoat it- you brought this on yourself. Hell, you probably couldn’t even fix this if you tried,” Kyungsoo laughed sarcastically over the line. Chanyeol felt ten times worse than he already did.

“Then tell me where I can find him! I’ll fix it! I promise!” Chanyeol exclaimed.

“You’ve promised other things before.” The only connection Chanyeol had to BaekHyun hung up and wouldn’t answer again.

Tears raced down Chanyeol’s face in hot salty streaks. It didn’t matter how, but he needed to see the love of his life again.

. ..

Chanyeol finished off the rest of the whiskey in one go. Cheers from all around kept his mind distracted from the past. But not enough. He didn’t think of himself anymore, he didn’t think of others. Anymore, Chanyeol watched the fluorescent ceiling lights through the bottom of his bottles.

The phone buzzed and Chanyeol looked.

“Wha’?” Chanyeol’s slurred answer flowed into the phone. The person on the phone would kill him for being so drunk.

If only Jongin knew.

“Something’s happened Chanyeol,” Jongin spoke unusually soft. “Kyungsoo’s riding along in the ambulance to the hospital. You’ll… want to meet us there,” Jongin finished off before hanging up.

BaekHyun.

Pushing past the man holding out a new bottle for Chanyeol, the tall man stumbled out the door and into his car. The keys jiggled as he started it up and messily backed out into the road. He was much too drunk to care about laws like putting on a seatbelt.

The hospital came into sight soon. Five miles in two minutes was too soon. Chanyeol had watched him and BaekHyun fall. This scene had happened too many times before his eyes for him to let it go on again.

BaekHyun needed him and by God he was going to be at BaekHyun’s side when he woke up.

Chanyeol never heard the sirens or saw the flash of ambulance lights ahead of his car when he crashed for the final time.


End file.
